


You don't know what you have until you lose it

by L0ry



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:34:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28231005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L0ry/pseuds/L0ry
Summary: An argument between Mac and Desi causes Riley's death, after a while Mac no longer knows how to deal with his emotions
Relationships: Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

The entire Phoenix team was summoned for a very important mission, the entire team will go undercover to a great party.

They would all pose as guests at the party, and their target was a guy named Alan, better known as the shadow.

The guy was known to be a fader, and what Russ knew is that the leftovers had been hired to make someone disappear at that party, he had no idea who the shadow's target was, but they would be there to stop him before he did. could do something

Riley was sitting on the couch in the room as he helped Bozer remove his tie. She looked away for a few seconds to where Mac and Desi were, but quickly stopped looking at them when Bozer saw her with a strange expression.

"Riley, you say you got over it, but I know it still hurts," Bozer said quietly.

"I do not know what you're talking about?" Riley lied

"Of course you know, you're not cheating on me," Bozer said.

Riley let out a sigh and thought it was ridiculous to try to hide something from Bozer.

"I really thought Bozer was over it, but I think it was just the fact that during the pandemic and my move we parted a little bit, and that got me thinking ..." Riley didn't want to continue because she was sure you might be on the brink of the tears.

"You thought you were over it, and now that we're back, it still hurts to see them together," Bozer finished.

"Basically, but I'll get over it" Riley said with a fake smile.

"That's what you said last time," Bozer said.

"This time I'm serious on cerium," Riley said seriously.

"So last time he was lying," Bozer joked.

Riley clapped him on the shoulder and he complained but still laughed at her, Russ called the rest of the team and informed them that it was time to go to the party.

Riley dated Bozer, Mac, and Desi later, and Russ went elsewhere.

Already at the party everyone was in their positions ready for anything, Alan had not yet presented himself, which was worrying because he did not know his objective, it was more difficult to know in which area of the place he would be

"It seems that the shadow is not punctual," said Bozer in communications, they had already been waiting for an hour.

"I think I saw it" said Riley

"where?" Mac asked him

"There" Riley pointed to the man who had just entered the place.

"It's definitely him," Russ said.

"So what, we just wait for him to do nothing?" asked Bozer

"Of course not Bozer, we are going to wait for the surplus to act, and we can catch it to tell us who its target is," Matty explained.

"You just have to be passive and wait" said Desi

Riley and Bozer went to sit at one of the tables where he had a good view of the shadow, Bozer looked at Riley with a stupid smile and then turned off his com.

"Riley, as your boyfriend, I have the right to ask you how you feel about you know who," Bozer said.

Riley also shut down her community and looked at Bozer seriously "at first, you're my fake boyfriend, and second, I won't keep talking about my feelings."

"Why not?" asked Bozer incredulously

"Because I don't want to talk about it and even less now on mission" Riley said a little annoyed.

"Okay, very angry," Bozer complained.

"I'm not angry, I just don't want to talk about it anymore" she said with a bit of sadness.

"It's okay, Riley," Bozer said with a friendly smile.

Riley looked up to see her target and saw him walking towards the exit, both she and Bozer turned their comms back on.

"Gentlemen, the shadow is coming out," reports Bozer.

"Riley, Bozer, follow him but without him knowing" said Matty

"Roger Matty" said Riley

Riley and Bozer followed in the shade through the hallways, Bozer motioning for Riley to go their separate ways to cover more ground.

Desi and Mac were near the entrance to make sure if the shadow tried to get out, they would have it.

"So, I was thinking of going out and decided if I wanted to go out with you" said Desi

"Perfect, so where and when do you want to go out?" Mac asked her a bit if she finally wanted to go out with him.

"Let me stop tomorrow afternoon, we can go ..." the place was going to say, but Mac cut her off.

"I can't tomorrow, it's Saturday, and I have plans," Mac said.

"Plans with whom?" he asked curiously.

"With Riley," Mac said quietly.

"It's on Mac," Desi said angrily.

"what?" Mac was confused.

"I finally want to go out with you, and you say no because you prefer to go out with Riley" Desi almost yelled.

They both paid for their communicators and looked into each other's eyes.

"Not that I prefer to go out with Riley, but she is my friend, and I had already asked her to go out together," Mac said.

"And maybe you can't go out with her another day" Desi said

"You can't complain about anything, Desi, I asked you many times to go out with me, and you didn't want to, and now that I tell you I'm going out with Riley, you get mad," Mac yelled at her.

"I get angry because you prefer to go out with her to with me" Desi also yelled

"I prefer to go out with Riley because she doesn't care about the things I do, and she doesn't get me into these kinds of fights," Mac said.

In front of them passed a man wearing black pants, a black jacket, and a cap that looked blue, but they were both there, but Mac and Desi paid no attention to them because they were fighting.

They spent a couple of minutes arguing until they saw Russ running towards them with a panicked expression.

"He's been trying to talk to you for minutes," Russ yelled at them.

"What happens?" asked Desi

"There is a bomb in the buildings, you have to leave the building immediately, we have already informed everyone to leave," Russ said.

When they came out behind them, all the people who were in the place came, they couldn't defuse the bomb since it was big and they only had a minute to go.

Mac looked around and found Bozer who seemed to be looking for someone.

"Bozer, where is Riley?" Russ asked him

"I don't know, we broke up when we were in the building," Bozer said with concern.

"Are you saying it's still there?" Mac's voice was full of fear.

"I don't know, maybe he did it," Bozer said.

"Matty, can you trace Riley's phone?" asked Russ

"Guys, the tracker indicates that Riley is still inside, and I just saw the cameras, and she's still there," Matty said.

Without thinking twice, she ran towards the building, but Desi stopped him, Mac glared at her and tried to get her out of the way.

"What do you think you're doing?" I yell at Mac angrily

"Mac, if you go there, you will die" Desi told him

"I don't care" Mac pushed Desi away

Mac ran into the building, but as he was about to enter, there was a huge explosion, Mac's body was pushed against the ground, and suddenly he simply fell unconscious.

\-------------------------------------------------- -----

A severe headache hit Mac the instant he opened his eyes. He slowly adjusted to the lights in the room and looked around to see Bozer sitting next to him.

Mac "Bozer" sanctions whisper

Bozer immediately got up and walked over to Mac, Mac could see Bozer's eyes reddened and his cheeks still stained with tears.

"what happened?" asked Mac

"The mission went very wrong," Bozer said and shook his head.

Suddenly it all came to Mac, he remembered the mission, he remembered his fight with Desi, you remember the bomb warning, you remember running into the building in an attempt to save Riley, RILEY, was he okay? Where's Riley?

"Riley, where is he? He was in the building," Mac said concerned.

"She ... she" Bozer couldn't speak due to crying

"What happened to your Bozer?" Mac was on the verge of tears too

"She's dead" said Bozer while crying

"what?" Mac asked, tears falling

"Mac died, he couldn't get out of the building," Bozer said.

Mac lay back on the bed and let the tears flow freely, Riley was dead, she of all the people in the world

"Do you know who did it?" asked Mac with complete sadness

"The cameras showed a guy dressed in black, with a blue cap and his clothes were black," Bozer said.

Mac's eyes widened as he remembered that man very well, you remember seeing him when he was arguing with Desi at the entrance.

"it's my fault" said Mac

"Mac, this is not your fault" said Bozer trying to reassure him

"You don't understand, I saw the man leave but I didn't pay attention to him because he was arguing with Desi, if I hadn't been distracted I would have caught him," Mac said through tears.

"This is not your fault, none of this is your fault," Bozer said and sat down next to Mac to comfort his friend.

"I wasn't supposed to leave him alone, we were supposed to be together," Mac yelled into Bozer's shoulder.

Mac remembered every time he was about to die and she was there by his side, he remembered that mission in Germany where he confessed one of his biggest secrets, where they told each other that they were not alone, he remembered seeing his hand taken when That missile was going to end their lives, she never left him alone but he left her alone, he left her to die alone, he had failed him

"Bozer, I failed Riley, I shouldn't have died," Mac said.

Mac cried day and night without being able to stop, the tears flowed uncontrollably and with a broken heart, Mac fell asleep


	2. Happy memories that now hurt

Mac felt a deep emptiness in his chest when he saw how they put the coffin on the floor, the tears had not been able to dry them for a second.

They all shared sad looks as they filled the hole with dirt. Jack walked over to him and hugged him tightly while letting his partner cry on his chest.

Only two days had passed since his death, they decided to have the funeral that day so that Jack could attend. Mac felt so guilty that there were no words to speak to Jack.

After leaving the hospital, Mac definitively ended his relationship with Desi, realizing that their relationship was only causing them problems.

After the funeral he went straight home and did not want anyone to accompany him. At that moment he did not want anyone to accompany him, he wanted to be alone and be able to drown in his own pain.

Just by opening the door of his house, his mind was flooded with memories, his heart pounding in his chest as he walked through the house.

He sat on the living room couch and took out his phone, went straight to his gallery to see some of his photos with Riley.

I pass each of the photos to her until I get to a video that had been recorded when she was still living there at home. He had been graduated when he was in the kitchen in an attempt to make some eggs.

"You really are a mess in the kitchen, Angus" said Riley

"Don't call me Angus" complained Mac

"I'll call you whatever I want" Riley said standing next to her.

"Whatever you want" Mac laughed.

"And what were you trying to do to me, Mr. Chef?" asked Riley

"I wanted to make some eggs, but I couldn't," Mac said.

Riley laughed out loud as Mac grabbed her around the waist and pressed her against his body.

You couldn't see it in the video, but if he remembered why he did it, he remembered that he loved the way his body joined hers, he loved the way it made her blush, he loved every second of that moment.

"Okay, what if I better help you make those eggs?" Riley asked, nervously.

The video ended there and the tears fell again uncontrollably, he continued passing the photos and looked in detail at each of the images where he was with Riley.

He missed her too much, and the emptiness in his chest only grew bigger as time went by, he felt so guilty about Riley's death.

He got up from the couch and went in the direction of Riley's old room, looked around and saw the room that had been practically empty since Riley moved in.

He sat up on the bed and leaned back, looked around again and saw one of Riley's old shirts that he had left behind when he moved in.

Little by little he got up from the bed and went to the place where the shirt was. He took it in his hands, it was one of his oversized shirts that he used to wear to sleep or just be around the house.

I hear the front door open, but he doesn't care if it was a murderer or even a murderer. He was sure he wouldn't mind at all if he was killed.

"Hey dude, what are you doing?" Bozer asked him when he entered the room with him.

Mac didn't respond and just kept looking at the shirt in his hands, Bozer walked over to him and touched his shoulder to get his attention.

"Mac, are you okay?" Bozer asked softly.

"I don't know" said Mac

"Mac, there is something I want you to see," said Bozer.

"What?" Mac asked him

Bozer showed him Riley's backpack where he used to keep his computer and all his work items, Bozer took out Riley's computer and handed it to Mac.

"Why are you giving me Riley's computer?" I ask Mac if he's confused.

"Riley told me that after a bad day or there was something he wanted to own or keep, he would videotape it, it's like a diary, but he records how many things he has done," Bozer explained.

"And what about that?" Mac asked him still not understanding.

"There is something Riley wanted to tell you many times, but never had the courage to say it or even face it," Bozer said.

"that thing?" asked him

"I think it would be best if you listened to Riley's words, look for the file in one of Riley's privacy folders," Bozer said.

"What about the password for the computer?" Mac asks

"I'm not a stupid Mac, I know Riley gave you his password," Bozer said.

"Well, I know" Mac said while laughing a little.

"Well, I have to go" said Bozer as he left the room.

When Mac found out that Bozer had already left, that's when he took the computer in his hands to see what Bozer had mentioned to him.

He found several folders until he finally found the one Bozer had mentioned, there were several videos that he seemed to be in since he started working with them.

He saw that there were a lot of videos and decided to play the first video. He could see Riley sitting on a chair while they smiled a little in it, he loved that smile.

"Well, this is my first time doing this, but the psychology at Phoenix said it would be a good distraction to deal with my issues," Riley said and then sighed.

"I'm not entirely sure how to adjust to this whole spy thing and so forth, but I'm very happy to get a second chance to get it right, unfortunately I have to work with Jack, which is not my ability at all, although the boy blond with the strange name is very nice, he is a good person and he is very cute, I think we will be very good friends "said Riley.

Mac stopped the video there, just letting the words flash in his memory for a moment, looked back at the image but decided to continue with another video.

"It was Christmas recently and he had many problems as always, THE COLLECTIVE managed to find me again and they kidnapped my mother but in the end I managed to save her, unfortunately many bad things happened but now everything is fine, the truth is that although all those things happened now I feel better and a little happy since Mac did something very special for me, he made me a snow machine since I had never had a white Christmas, he really is an amazing person and when he hugged me on the terrace I felt really safe and loved , the best thing is that I finally fixed things Jack and now we are fine although we still have one or the other problem but I think that with time we can fix it, this is for today "said Riley before finishing the video

Mac felt his chest constrict every time Riley mentioned it in her videos. He decided to choose the videos at random and put the one that I appreciate the most.

"Today we ran into one of Jack's ex-girlfriends and also Ma Mac's ex-girlfriend. We found out that she did the things she did because she was on deck for CIA"

Mac paused the video and decided to watch another one he found, reading the list with the dates of each of the videos.

He found a video dating from the day he found his father and left Phoenix.

"Today Mac managed to find his father, but unfortunately Mac couldn't forgive him so he quit his job in Phoenix. On the other hand, I started dating Billy, I'm not sure I'm in love with him, but I think so Maybe we could think of something else "They said those last words with a big smile.

Mac felt his heart clench in his chest at the mention of Billy Colton. Mac continued with the videos and played a video that was a month after he left Phoenix.

"Today Matty assigned us a simple job in Phoenix. Since Mac left, things have not been the same, Jack is not the same, he's a bit sad, we hardly go on a mission anymore and I miss Mac. I just hope he comes back soon, "Riley said with a bit of sadness.

She continued with the videos and selected one at random, at first she said nothing and was only seen crying.

"Billy is cheating on me, I found out about this on the mission and I really feel bad because I thought I loved him, he was the first person I loved so much and I thought I could have a future with him, since Jack left. I felt so lost and alone, but today Mac showed me that he wasn't completely alone, I don't know what I'd be without him, "Riley said before ending the video.

He made it to the last video, it had been recorded a week before she died.

"I don't know what you do anymore, I thought I was over what I felt for Mac, but it seems that it hurts me more and more, Bozer is the only one who knows that I am in love with Mac and now I don't I don't know how to do it because I told Bozer that It didn't hurt anymore and I had forgotten about it but no, every time I see Mac and Desi together, my heart breaks a little more, when the pandemic passed and I thought I was over it, now I don't even know who I am for him. Desi Me He told the things he said the last time they were together and his words hurt me so much because all the things he said that she did were because of what I did, sometimes I think that for him I am just a joke and that any damage that hurts more have made me in my life, I love Angus Macgyver, I am in love with him and he is in love with someone else "

Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she heard his every word, all this time she had been in love with him, and he had hurt her over and over again.

He felt an idiot because she died with those wounds on her heart. She died thinking she was just a joke for him. She died without knowing when he loved her, he looked without knowing that she had all her world for him.

He closed her off and returned to his room and cried thanks to his heart. The rest of the day and night his mind bombarded him with memories of the two of them, memories that were happy but now hurt.


	3. In my mind

It had been two weeks since Riley's death and she still couldn't process it. Every time he thought of her, he couldn't help crying or feeling that horrible pain in his chest.

Matty has not let him go on any missions since she told him that he was not fit to be on a mission.

His loneliness at home only made him more miserable with each passing day, Jack and Bozer spending as much time as they could with him despite Mac telling them he was fine, which was a lie.

It was night and he was trying to sleep. I try not to cry like I have done every night since Riley died.

When he was finally about to fall asleep, he heard footsteps coming from outside his room, decided to ignore them and thought it was just something that had fallen.

Again I heard a noise, but this time they were accompanied by footsteps heading towards the terrace. He got out of bed and when he opened the door, he saw her.

It was a black silhouette that thanks to the lights out, he couldn't make out who it was, but he knew it was a woman.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" Mac asked seriously.

Mac felt his heart in his throat when the woman flew to see him, he could see her face perfectly, the tears began to fall, and he felt as if someone was squeezing his heart with force.

"Riles?" Mac said quietly.

It was her, she was wearing her ordinary clothes and her hair was beautifully spread, she had a little smile on her face, the smile that Mac loves so much, being honest, he loved everything about her.

She said nothing and simply turned to continue on her way to the terrace. Mac ran after her, but when he got to the terrace, she wasn't there.

"Riley" Mac yelled through tears.

"Where are you? I miss you" Mac fell to his knees and cried like a little child.

"Why are you doing this to me? God, why are you making me see him even though he's not there?" Scream mac

She spent a few minutes on the floor on her knees while crying bitterly, because the world had to be so cruel, Mac thought.

Suddenly he heard a noise coming from the kitchen and thought it was probably another hallucination, but then he heard someone open the refrigerator door.

She ran into the kitchen hoping to see Riley again, her hopes dashed at the sale when she saw Jack with his head stuck in the fridge.

"What are you doing here, Jack?" Mac asked with a little disdain in his voice.

Jack stuck his head out of the refrigerator and looked at Mac with a small smile, but that quickly faded when he saw the tears on his cheeks.

"I had something to tell you, and I thought I'd spend the night here," said Jack.

"Yeah, no problem, you can sleep in the other room," Mac said as he wiped away his tears.

"You're good?" asked Jack softly

"Absolutely not," Mac said.

He and Jack entered the living room and sat on the sofa, Jack looked at his friend with a serious expression.

"What's wrong, Jack?" Mac asked him

"Mac, I'll be leaving tomorrow" said Jack.

"Really?" Jack could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Yes, but I promise to be back as soon as possible" said Jack

"You said that before, and Riley had to die for you to come back" said Mac a little annoyed.

"Mac, I mean it" said Jack

"Well, I don't care" Mac yelled and got up from the couch to go to the terrace.

"Mac, wait" yelled Jack

"Just go Jack, go like everyone else in my life" Mac stood in front of the railing and cried again.

"Mac, I won't let you" said Jack from behind him.

"I miss her Jack" said Mac

"Me too, she was my girl, and she left" said Jack sadly.

"Once when Riley and I were playing, he said he would like me to make a time machine" Mac paused before speaking again "I told him it was impossible, but now I want to do the impossible, I want to build that time machine. time, I want to see her again, to be able to hug her, give her a kiss to tell her how much I love her "

Mac's words also made Jack cry, he didn't want to leave Mac like this, but he wasn't going to leave the mission like this either.

"Come here" Jack took Mac in his arms

"I should have saved her, it's my fault she's dead," Mac yelled into his shoulder.

"Hey, look at me" Jack caught the attention of his partner "nothing that happened was your fault, you had no way of knowing what would happen"

"Hopefully" Mac sighed.

"What if you better go to sleep? You can say you haven't slept well for days," said Jack.

Mac had just moved away from his chest and walked silently to his room. Jack saw him slam the bedroom door tightly, indicating that he was clearly angry.

Finally, Mac had managed to fall asleep when he turned around to be more comfortable, he saw her there next to him, she was looking at him with a serious expression as if she was examining him.

"Riley?" he asked completely confused

She washed his hand and placed it on his cheek to gently caress his face, Mac did not know what to do or how to react to what was in front of him.

"I love you," she whispered with a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I love you too, Riles" Mac said in a shaky voice.

"Why didn't you save me?" she asked

"I tried Riley, but I couldn't save you, sorry," Mac said.

"You left me to die, you left me alone when you told me you wouldn't" he got up from the bed.

"Riley, I never wanted to leave you alone, I swear," Mac said through tears.

"But you did, and since I'm dead, it's your fault," she said.

Mac tried to get out of bed to hug her and tell her that he never intended to leave her alone, but when he tried to move, he felt like he was glued to the bed.

She walked slowly to the bed until she was sitting across from him, rested her forehead on his and saw him in the eyes.

"you love Me?" she asked softly.

"With all my heart, Riley" said Mac

"then don't leave me, help me" now his words were heard in an echo

"Help me Mac," he said

Then the stage landed in front of him, he heard the others asking about Riley, but he had already started running towards the building.

He finally found her in a room where only she was before he could get close to her, the bomb exploded.

But this time it was as if everything was in slow motion, but it didn't hurt, the scene in front of him was so vivid that it made him feel like he was actually there with her.

"Riley, no," Mac yelled, and the image in front of him stopped.

He immediately woke up and saw her standing in front of his bedroom door, her smile was still on her beautiful face, and he turned around again to leave.

In an attempt to follow her, Mac felt strong hands touching her arm.

"Mac, calm down" Jack said next to him.

"Riley, wait" yelled Mac

Mac released Jack's hold and ran out of his room, looking for her in the hall, on the terrace, in the living room, in the kitchen, but she was gone.

"Mac" yelled Jack

"She was here, I saw her" Mac said, his tears flowed uncontrollably again.

"What are you talking about?" asked Jack, there was a tone of concern in his voice.

"Tell me you saw it Jack, it was at the door, please tell me you saw it" asked Mac

"Mac, she wasn't there, it was just a dream," said Jack.

"It wasn't a dream, she was there, she was standing by the door, I saw her," Mac yelled.

"Mac, relax, she's not here" said Jack as he took Mac's face in his hands.

Mac threw himself into his friend's arms and cried uncontrollably, Jack tightened the grip of his arms on Mac's body and let him cry.

"please don't leave me Jack" said Mac

"Mac ..." Jack started to speak but Mac cut him off.

"I'm begging you Jack, don't go" I beg Mac "I don't want to lose you too"

"Hey, you won't lose me, I'll be here when you need me" said Jack

Mac didn't answer and kept crying until he couldn't take it anymore, Jack escorted Mac to his room and was about to leave when Mac called him.

"Jack," Mac said quietly.

"What happens?" asked Jack

"I know it sounds pathetic but could you stay with me tonight, I don't know if I can be alone for another second" said Mac a little embarrassed

He didn't even think about it before he went to bed with his adopted son, Mac's gaze was staring at the ceiling and Jack was very curious to know what he was thinking.

"What are you thinking?" asked Jack

"on Riley" Mac sighed before continuing to speak "she's on my mind constantly, I can't think of anything other than her"

Jack watched with a small tear slowly sliding down Mac's cheek.

"She will always be with us, in our hearts" said Jack calmly.

"I don't want her in my heart, I want her here by my side, I need her more than the air I breathe" said Mac

Jack just did the logical thing he thought at the time and that was hug him, kept him in his arms until the blond boy finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried a little when I wrote this


	4. I can't live in a world where you are not

It had been almost a month and things for Mac had only gotten worse, Jack had decided to stay in Los Angeles, but for that he needed to speak to a person from DC and explain his situation.

The problem was that now his nightmares were more recurrent, he could almost swear he would see Riley at home almost every night. Almost every night he cried, his spirits were down, his job performance was only going downhill, and there was so much more.

He sat up in bed as he looked over and over at the videos of Riley's digital diary, he had thought that diary was the one keeping him sane now.

That day the boys had dinner at his house, something they wanted to do often so Mac wouldn't feel alone.

Now Bozer was in the kitchen preparing food for that afternoon, Jack couldn't come for obvious reasons, Russ and Matty had said they were coming, and Desi said she wasn't sure yet.

Bozer glanced at a friend who was sitting on the couch reading a book, but from what he had seen, he had been on the same page for almost half an hour.

"Hey Mac, would you like to help me here in the kitchen?" said Bozer

Mac looked up from the book and saw Bozer with a very serious expression.

"Come on, friend, it will only be a few minutes, plus you've been reading the same page for half an hour" said Bozer with a chuckle.

Mac didn't tell him about his friend's comment earlier and simply put the book aside to help him in the kitchen.

Mac stood next to him and just looked at him waiting for him to say what to do, Bozer smiled at him and handed him a ladle

"Help me with the sauce" said Bozer

"Sure," said Mac

Bozer looked at Mac very carefully to see his body language, noticed that his movements were heavy, he let out a sigh or another, his eyes were sad and down, he was moving slowly, and it seemed that it was taking all his effort not to cry. .

"Mac, are you okay?" Bozer asked when he saw a tear fall down his cheek.

"Yes" Mac nodded but didn't turn to see him.

"don't lie to me" said Bozer in a serious tone

"I'm fine, okay, you know what, you'll finish this" Mac put the spoon aside and stormed off to his room.

Mac was tired of everyone asking him if he was, it was obvious that he wasn't feeling well and that he wasn't going to be in a good time.

He lay back on his bed and wanted to remember a happy moment with Riley, those memories were the only ones that made him smile now.

Mac woke up when a sudden weight fell on his body, raised his head a little to see black locks that he knew instantly were from Riley.

"Hi," Mac whispered.

"Hi, what sexy pajamas are you wearing" she laughed at him.

The pajamas she was wearing was made of brown bears, with a hood that had little bear ears, she had one just like it since it was a personal joke between the two of them.

"You wear the same pajamas" said Mac

"Yeah, but since I'm a woman, I look good," Riley said.

"Yeah sure," he said sarcastically.

"You're saying I don't look good" Riley put a hand on her chest pretending to be offended.

"Yeah that's what I said," Mac said turning around to see Riley.

The moment he turned to see her, a pillow smashed into his face as Riley laughed at him.

"hey" complained Mac

"That's for saying you look bad when it's clear that I look beautiful," Riley said.

Mac also took a pillow and hit Riley with it, and they struggled for about a minute fighting the pillows until Mac pushed her against the bed.

Mac grabbed Riley's wrists to hold her motionless against the bed, Riley giggled and squirming under him in an attempt to loosen his grip.

When they finally calmed down, they met each other's eyes with a rather serious expedition. Involuntarily, he lowered his head a little, closing the short distance between them.

"Mac" heard the scream coming from the hall.

They quickly parted ways just before Desi entered the room. She looked at the two of them with a confused expression seeing him wearing the same ridiculous pajamas.

"Why the hell are they wearing those pajamas?" I ask him desi

"Funny," they said at the same time.

"Well when you're done playing like children, you can come to the kitchen" Desi said before leaving.

When she left, they both started laughing a little out loud. Riley got up from the bed to go when Mac took her arm to stop her.

"You look beautiful in those pajamas," Mac admitted.

She blushed a little and giggled a little, "thanks, and you don't look too bad"

He watched her go and grinned like an idiot.

"I wish I had kissed her," Mac whispered to himself.

He heard noises coming from the kitchen and deduced that the others had already arrived. He got out of bed and went to the kitchen.

I heard all that mother stuff, and he knew exactly who they were talking about he was. He was tired of everyone talking behind his back and in his own home.

He walked into the kitchen and everything was immediately silent when they saw him.

"If you're going to talk about me, at least do it to my face and not behind my back" said Mac angrily.

"Mac, it's just that we care" Bozer

"I'm fine guys" Mac lied

"Mac ..." Russ started to speak, but Mac cut him off.

"Hey, thanks for worrying, but I'm fine." Everyone knew from his tone. It was obvious that he was not right, but they did not want to continue insisting.

"Okay, let's go to the terrace to serve the food," Bozer said.

Everyone helped Bozer to carry the food out on the terrace, at first everything was calm and quiet.

Then, while they ate, they started talking about any topic, and according to Bozer, it was a good idea to mention Riley as a new topic of conversation.

"I was in love with Riley when we met" Bozer told the story of when he and she met.

"Me too" thought Mac, he had spent many nights awake thinking about the exact moment he fell in love with her and he concluded that it was from the first moment they met.

He had realized that he had fallen in love with her from the first moment he saw her, but a feeling that from the beginning made him continue to think that she was nothing, and now he only wishes he could go back to the past and have a second. chance to say "I love you", but it was too late for that.

I hear the laughter around him, but I don't pay attention to them, he was lost in thought right now.

saw her with total clarity, her beautiful smile, her beautiful hair, her brother's hazel eyes, her full lips and her adorable cheeks

"Mac, are you okay?" asked matty

She hadn't realized that a tear had slipped down her cheek and so Matty asked her if she was okay.

"Yes, Matty" said Mac, feigning a smile.

After lunch everyone stayed on the terrace talking about many things, Mac had been in his mind for a long time and he had a very dark idea "I want to be with her in this life or the next".

"So, I know you hate being asked so much, but are you sure you're okay?" asked Desi standing next to him

"Yes I am" said Mac looking at the city

"I understand," he said.

"Desi, can I give you a hug?" I ask Mac out of the blue.

Desi was surprised by Mac's request but didn't say anything and just gave him the hug he asked for.

She felt Mac's hand slide strangely down her thigh, but he paid it no heed.

"Thanks for that" he said before walking away

She saw him confused but decided not to get into Mac's head.

About half an hour they were all about to leave, but they realized that Mac was nowhere to be found.

"Did anyone see Mac?" asked matty

"I haven't seen him in a while," Russ said.

"He's probably in his room as usual," Bozer said.

Bozer went to find Mac in his room, but he didn't. The others spent a couple of minutes looking around the house for Mac, but he wasn't in any lake.

"I know where it is," Russ said.

"where?" asked Bozer

"The GPS on his phone says he's in the cemetery," Russ said.

"But what are you doing there?" asked Bozer

They then heard Desi let out a precision sigh, everyone turned to her only to see her worried face and her very pale face.

"This is not good" said Desi

"What happens?" asked matty

"He has my gun" said Desi

"Que?" everyone asked

Desi started running towards the entrance with the others behind her.

"He has my gun and he plans to kill himself," he told them.

Mac knelt in front of Riley's headstone while crying, he knew what he was going to do was wrong, but he no longer wanted to live with himself suffering every day.

He lost his mother, he lost his dad, he lost Charlie, he lost his aunt, and he lost many more people, and in all those deaths he had not suffered as much as in Riley's.

Losing her had been the hardest thing for him, she was the most important thing in his life and he was gone.

"I miss you Riles" Mac said quietly.

"I can't live in a world where you are not," Mac said through tears.

He looked at the gun in his hands as he thought exactly what he was going to do. He loaded the gun and held it to his head.

"I'll be with you soon, Riley" said Mac

The whole team made it to the cemetery and saw Mac kneeling in front of Riley's headstone even though they were far away. They managed to see the gun and everyone panicked when it aimed at his head.

Russ rushed over to him and grabbed his hand tightly as he pushed him to the ground.

The sound of the gun firing froze everyone, but Mac's crying told them it hadn't been fired.

"let me do it" yelled Mac

"Of course not, you've gone crazy" Russ told him.

"I can't live without her, I need her" yelled Mac

"Mac, you have to let her go, she's dead, but that's no reason for you to die," he said. Russ

"Yes, it is, I don't want this anymore, I don't want to suffer anymore, I want to be with her." Mac pulled away from Russ and tossed the gun aside.

Mac knelt in front of the stone and laid his head on the spot, Mac cried as he let them get to where he was

"She's not here anymore, what's the use of living without my Riles?" Mac yelled.

"Mac, I know it hurts, but we're all here," Matty said.

"We are going to support you" Desi said.

"We will be with you all the time," Bozer said.

"We will do everything we can to help him," Russ said.

"We will never leave you alone" said Jack

Mac looked back when he heard Jack's voice, he didn't know how or when it came, but he didn't care, he immediately got up from the ground and ran into his adoptive father's arms.

"I'm so sorry, Jack" Mac apologized

"Hey, everything's fine now" Jack comforted him.

"I know it's hard to let go of someone you love, but you're not alone in this." Jack looked him in the eye.

"No matter what happens, we will be your family," Bozer said.

"And we will always support you" said Desi

"We will never abandon you, Angus" Russ

"We will be together whatever happens" said Matty.

Everyone joined in a hug full of love and for the first time in all that month Mac felt a little better, it felt good to be in the arms of his family.


	5. Back to me

**One year later**

Things had changed a lot across the team, but it wasn't bad, maybe things weren't like before, but they were definitely a little better.

Mac had a long time to own Riley's death, he had gone to psychologists who helped him overcome some of his pains and suffering.

Now he wasn't as depressed as before, but that didn't mean he still didn't feel bad or sad about it. The place Riley had left was a great void in her heart that nothing could fill, but she had to learn to live with it.

The team was more united than before, and that made him feel better, Jack had returned to work with them, which made him happy, and there were many more things.

The only thing he had a hard time owning was Riley's replacement, which he didn't like at all, not that the guy wasn't nice, but he just couldn't replace Riley Davis.

Now they just finished a mission in Alaska that was a bit difficult, but they finally made it. They were currently at a market in Alaska because Jack wanted to buy nonsense.

"Seriously, why did you buy that? asked Bozer pointing to the raccoon tail hat he had just bought.

"Yeah, Jack, that thing is awful" Mac scoffed.

"Laugh all you want, but this hat is great," said Jack.

"That's what you tell yourself," laughed Bozer.

Mac shook his head as he laughed at his friends, his steps immediately stopping when he heard a sweet voice in the distance.

She knew that perfect voice, but it was impossible for it to be her, it was simply impossible because she was dead.

He looked around for where the sweet voice was coming from but saw nothing unusual. He shook his head in denial of the torture his brain was giving him at that moment.

"Mac, is everything okay?" asked Bozer

"Yeah, I thought I heard something" Mac said looking around.

"the one you heard?" asked Jack

"It's nothing, come on" Mac said with a small smile.

The three of them returned to the hotel where they were staying, Mac was absentmindedly looking at a picture of Riley on his phone, it was something he did when he missed her a lot.

So distracted that he accidentally collided with a woman, his phone fell to the ground, and the woman kindly reached down to pick it up.

"Sorry I wasn't paying attention" Mac apologized, he was a bit embarrassed.

"Yeah, sure, you were really distracted seeing a picture of Riley" said the woman as she handed him her phone.

Mac looked at her confused, not understanding how the hell it was that she knew Riley's name.

"Excuse me, do you know Riley?" Mac asked curiously.

"Yes" she replied.

"Where do you know her from?" asked Mac

"Well, she ..." the woman was interrupted when someone called out to her.

"Sorry, I have to go" the woman just said goodbye and left

"What was the heck that?" Mac asked himself

Mac went to his room without understanding where that woman was from, he knew Riley, he did not give much importance to that, and he simply went to sleep

\-------------------------------------------------- ------

_"I love you, Angus Macgyver" Riley said with a small smile._

_"I love you too Riles" Mac said softly._

_"Never leave me alone," he asked._

_"I never will, Riley" he stroked her face tenderly_

_"you promise?" she asked_

_"I promise" said Mac_

_Suddenly, he was back in that building where Riley had died. As in her other nightmares, she was standing in front of him._

_"Help me, Mac," he yelled._

_Mac ran to her and the damn bomb exploded_

\-------------------------------------------------- ---

Mac stood up immediately, his breathing was heavy, he was sweating, his heart was pounding, and the fear in his chest was big and heavy.

He looked at his watch and saw that it was 8 a.m. and its extraction would continue until 12 noon.

He decided to go take a shower so he could clear his thoughts and try to get rid of that horrible nightmare in his head.

Once ready, he left the room to meet Jack and Bozer. The three of them went to a cafeteria for breakfast.

They were eating and talking quietly when Mac heard some of the women murmuring.

"She is a very nice girl," said one of her.

"Yes, she is very pretty, she is also very beautiful" said the other.

"Except for the bruises on his face" he said prev

"Yeah poor Riley, who knows what he went through," said the other.

Mac froze at the mention of Riley, but immediately shook his head in denial of his thoughts, there are many girls with the name Riley.

Once they finished having breakfast, they had to return to the hotel and to do so, they had to go through that market they had passed before.

The three of them walked calmly again, that tender voice flooded his ears, this time he looked everywhere until he finally saw her.

She was standing in front of a stall of what appeared to be bread. She was with that beautiful smile that she loves so much. Her hair was beautifully spread. He was wearing clothes for the cold and seemed to have multiple wounds that he didn't know exactly where he got them from.

He was completely in shock when he saw her there, he was not sure if that was a dream since normally when he dreams of her he was wearing normal clothes and always directed his words to him, but that woman there had not even noticed his presence.

"Mac, you're fine, it looks like you saw a ghost," said Jack.

I ignore Jack's words and ran towards the girl who had now started walking in another direction. He followed her where she was going, per se it made it a bit difficult since there were many people.

He saw her stop in front of a man, the boy was somewhat older, had a beard, his hair was a bit long, he had quite a few gray hair and he seemed to know her because he threw himself into his arms to hug him. 

I hear the boys calling him, but I don't pay attention to them. She and the man were walking a clear path, and Mac knew it was his chance to catch up with her.

"Riley" yelled Mac

She turned around immediately upon hearing her name, Mac couldn't help himself, and when he finally reached her, he wrapped her in his arms.

She was Riley and she was standing there in front of him. He didn't even know how it was possible, and at that moment he didn't care how, he only cared that she was alive in his arms.

Jack and Bozer were also completely in awe to see Riley there.

"Riley, you have no idea how much I missed you," now she had tears in her eyes.

She jerked away from him and stood beside the man with her.

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't know him" said her beautiful voice.

"Riley, what are you saying? I'm Mac, I'm your best friend" said the

"I'm sorry, but I don't know him," she said.

"Riley, it's us" said Jack also with tears that threatened to come out.

"Gentlemen, she says she doesn't know you, leave us alone," said the man with her.

"But what do you say, if we are your friends?" Bozer said.

Riley hid from them behind the man with her, and the boy looked at them with a serious expression.

"Get out of here" said the man pulling out a gun.

"That's not going to happen" said Jack also taking his.

The two looked at each other threateningly, but Mac focused on Riley who was scared to death behind the man, and the last thing Mac wanted was to scare her.

"Hey, that's enough, they're scaring her," Mac yelled at them.

"Shut your mouth, blond, you better get out of here or the three of them will end up dead" hunger threatened

Mac didn't understand anything in that situation, she was Riley, and he knew it perfectly, but he didn't recognize them.

"Sir, I swear we know her" said Mac

Mac pulled out his phone and went to her gallery looking for some of his photos with her.

"Look, this is proof that I know her," Mac said as he took pictures of him and her.

The man looked at the photos carefully, after analyzing the photos, the man saw Riley and then saw them before putting his gun away.

"Follow me, but don't talk to her," the man said.

The three of them followed the other man and Riley to a cabin that was a bit out of town. The man let them into the house and told Riley to go to his room.

"So you say you know Riley?" asked the man

"Yes sir, she's our friend" Mac said quickly.

"And she is my daughter too" said Jack

The man looked at Jack curiously as he was nothing like Riley.

"I'm his foster father" clarified Jack.

The man looked at them closely as if he were analyzing them.

"Sir, I swear we know her and love her," Mac said.

"I'm going to believe you, but I have to tell you something important about her" said the man.

"What?" Bozer asked

"I will tell you from the beginning, exactly two months ago I was coming from the market when I found her, she was lying in the snow and she was seriously injured, she had multiple wounds and blows all over her body, I immediately took her with me and took her to a hospital where They had her hospitalized for a couple of weeks, they told me that her wounds would heal but the problem was that when she woke up all she knew was her name, according to the doctors they said that she had completely lost her memory, when she left the hospital I took her home with me and I have taken care of her since then, I have tried to make her remember something but she does not remember anything at all "he explained in man

Mac was completely perplexed by the man's words, Riley had been alive all this time but had been hurt in so many ways, she had completely lost her memory and that was what scared her the most.

"She is fine now, her wounds are healed and she is much better, but her mind does not seem to improve in the least," the man said.

"Do you think we can see it?" asked Mac

"Sure, I tell them to be passive with what they are going to say" said the man.

"By the way, what is your name?" asked Jack

"My name is Colins" said the

Colin led him to one of the rooms at the end of the hall, went to the door, and knocked three times to get Riley's attention.

"Riley, can I come in?" asked Colins

"Sure" your words apneas audible

Collins entered the room and indicated to the three men that they would stay to continue talking to Riley.

"She says just talk to one," Collins said when he left.

"I will" said Jack

"no" said Collins

"Why not?" asked Jack a bit annoyed.

"He wants to talk to him" he said pointing to Mac

"with me?" Mac asked a little nervous.

"Yeah, she said she agrees to talk to him blonde, and you're the only blonde here," Colin said.

Mac looked at the door of the room with great fear, Colin opened the door and they would take him to the room where he found the person he loves the most.

At that moment she thought about so many things, _she is alive, she is with me, she was able to hug her again, I was able to tell her that I love her, I was able to have her again, I had a second chance because she came back to me._

With that in mind, he entered the room to speak to her.


	6. Collins and Riley

Riley was sitting on the bed as she looked at Mac. Mac decided not to get too close to her so as not to scare her and simply grabbed a chair from the room and sat across from her.

He did not know what to do or what to say, everything was very confusing at that very moment.

I notice that Riley was looking at him curiously, as if she wanted to examine him completely, as if she wanted to remember him.

"Did you say your name is Mac?" he asked breaking the silence.

"Well my name is Angus Macgyver, but everyone calls me Mac," he explained.

She laughed at the mention of her name, and Mac's heart raced when he saw her laugh, he thought he would never hear her beautiful laugh again.

"What are you laughing at?" Mac asked pretending to be outraged.

"Nothing, it's just that your name is funny and something unusual" he said

"Yes it is" said Mac

"And how do you know me?" Riley asked, now he was serious

"you and I are friends, we work together" said Mac

"we are friends?" he asked, there was a slight hint of sadness in his voice

"Yeah best friends," Mac said, his tone sadder than hers.

"And the two men outside, who are they?" asked Riley

"The youngest is Wilt  
Bozer and the eldest is Jack Dalton, Bozer is basically like your brother since you two get along so well and Jack is like his father, he has been with you for a long time, "Mac explained.

"They are my family?" Riley asked

"Yes, we are all your family," Mac said.

"Family, I have a family," he said

"Yes, we consider ourselves a complete family," Mac said.

"You can tell me about me, it's weird, but I don't know anything about me except my name" he said with a bitter laugh.

"Well, there are many things, mainly you are a lover of technology, you are very intelligent, intrepid, you love chocolates, you are fascinated by animals, there are many things about you" said Mac

"You know me very well" said Riley

"Well, we've been friends for over 5 years, so I know you perfectly well," Mac said.

Riley said nothing and just looked at the wall, Mac examined her face and having her so close revealed many of her injuries.

"Riley, don't you remember how you got those wounds?" Mac said.

"I don't know, Collins said he found me like this and I honestly don't remember anything," Riley said.

"I understand" said Mac

"Mac, do you know what happened to me?" Riley asked

"No, I haven't seen you in a long time," Mac admitted.

"What do you mean?" she asked confused

"Well, a year ago we ..." Mac didn't know what to say to her exactly, she couldn't tell her what they were doing at the Phoenix for security reasons and even though she will be working there, she didn't remember and that basically made her a civilian "We were at a work party, there was an accident at the scene that day and we all thought ... you had died "

Riley looked at him dumbfounded as if she couldn't believe his words, lowered her head and let out a deep breath.

"But I'm alive," Riley said quietly.

"Yes you are" said Mac

"Mac, did you miss me?" asked Riley

"How?" asked Mac

"When you thought I was dead, did you miss me?" she asked again

"Yeah, every day that passes I miss you indescribably" said Mac

Riley smiled fondly at her and then lowered her head again, Mac only looked at her for a few seconds before speaking again.

"Riley, can I hug you?" Mac asked him

"what?" Riley asked

"Riles, I know you don't remember me but I swear if I don't give you a hug now I'll go crazy" said Mac as he got up.

"It's strange but I also feel the need to hug you" said Riley

Mac grinned like a fool when he approached her and wrapped her tightly in his arms, Mac shed a part of the tears he'd tried to hold back, but now with Riley back in his arms, nothing else mattered to him.

Jack walked through the house while Bozer was talking to Collins, he was walking down a hallway in the house when he found a door that looked very suspicious.

"Are you looking for something?" asked a voice behind him

Jack turned around to see Collins standing a few feet from him, Jack gave him a friendly fake smile and walked towards him.

"No, I was just looking at the place, it's a very nice house," said Jack.

"Thanks" Collins said in a serious tone "Riley said you can come in now"

"I'll be right there" said Jack

The way to the room where Riley was and when he entered he could see Bozer hugging Riley like there was no tomorrow.

"Leave her now Bozer, you're going to crush her" joked Jack

"I guess you're Jack" said Riley

"I'm not just Jack, I'm your dad" said Jack proudly

"Jack" Mac said his name threateningly

"Well I'm not your dad, but I'm like your dad my beautiful girl" said Jack

He sat on the bed and gently caressed his daughter's face, Riley smiled lovingly at him which made Jack's heart melt.

They spent a couple of hours with Riley until the sun set and night fell.

"It's dark now" Riley yelled from joy

He jumped out of bed and ran out of the room, the three men looked at each other in confusion and followed Riley out of the house.

When the three of them got out, they saw Riley sitting on the level looking up at the sky with a big smile.

Like her, Mac smiled when he saw that she was seeing nothing more and nothing less than the Aurora Borealis.

Riley smiled happily and leaned back in the snow to get a better view of the sky, seconds later she saw the blond boy with the strange name lie down next to her while the other two men entered the house along with Collins.

"Do you like the Aurora Borealis?" Mac asked you soft

"Yes, for a strange reason every time I see the stars I feel happy, but when I see the Aurora Borealis I have a sensation of heat in my body, it is as if I am not alone" explained Riley while looking at the sky

"You're not alone Riley" Mac said taking her hand in his.

The moment Mac took her hand, something that Riley lit up, she suddenly felt nervous and at the same time so confused by this new sensation.

Mac looked at Riley and remembered the mission where they pretended to be newlyweds, that time he talked about himself a fake honeymoon and seeing the Northern Lights above them right then made him feel so in love, more than he did that was already.

"When I got here with Collins, I felt completely lost, I didn't know where I was, I had no memories of anything, and I didn't even know it was me, I didn't even know my own name," Riley said.

Mac sat in the snow and looked at Riley in confusion. How come he didn't remember her name if from what Collins said he did know that?

"How come I didn't remember your name?" asked Mac

"Well I didn't know anything, when I woke up in the hospital, he was the first person I saw and he said 'Riley girl' and I assumed that was my name," Riley explained.

Mac was on his feet immediately when he heard gunshots coming from inside the house. Seconds later, Jack and Bozer ran off as Jack fired at Collins.

Mac took Riley in his arms who was now already trembling with fear

"What was happening?" Riley asked fearfully.

"I don't know," Mac said as he led her towards some surrounding trees.

"All clear, now you can go out" Jack shouted from the entrance of the house

"Mac?" she told her name in fear

"Everything is fine Riles, I protect you, okay?" said mac

Mac and Riley came back to the house hugging, since Riley was quite scared.

When they got to the house they saw Jack and Bozer tying Collins to a chair

"what happened?" Mac asked Jack

"Our good Samaritan here is not as good a person as he seems" said Jack putting his hand firmly on Collins's shoulder.

"What do you mean?" asked Mac

"Well, I was looking at the house when I walked into a room where our friend had an arsenal of weapons that I'm sure weren't for a collection," Jack explained.

"If Jack went to talk to him, Collins drew his gun and tried to kill us," Bozer said.

Mac looked at the two men in front of him in confusion and then looked at Riley, who was still holding him a little tightly.

Mac was confused by this whole situation, he had so many questions right now and the only ones who could answer them were Collins and Riley.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for mistakes but English is not my mother tongue


End file.
